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Depression - Discussion Thread



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Depression - Discussion Thread
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11667
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 1:25 am    Post subject: Depression - Discussion Thread Reply with quote
This is a thread the I promised Baxy to do when we met earlier today (saturday). The reason I promised him because of how both of us suffer from this and that other members here may also be sufferring from it, but find it hard to come forward. To come forward and admit to having it is a very courageous thing to do.

Quite some years ago, depression was something to laugh, to sneer and to be teased non stop about. Now, depression has become one of the leading causes of suicide and it affects people from their early teens to the elderly. Though it is treatable, it ISN'T currable. Drugs like AXIT 30 work for a lot of people. For some though, the effects are more pronounced and instead of helping them, they find themselves acting emotionally dead. We may bury our depression and then rebuild our psychy with new foundations, but cracks do appear and once more it surfaces to try to strike the fatal blow. It's how you deal with it, that determines whether you're the victor or not.

Psychiatrists are a help, but aren't the be all and end all. Going to them is for some people is the scariest thing imaginable. Group therapy is a good way to open up to others with the same condition, but people sufferring from depression really need an anchor or safe haven when it starts to hit. The safe haven is of course someone who they can confide to and support them during those times. Those who don't have that safe haven or are too scared to tell someone that they're sufferring depression are all too likely to suicide at some point. 2 of my school friends committed suicide due to depression. 1 of my friends who was also a work mate at the time, had hit rock bottom when he came over to my place. He survived due to me recognising how bad he was when he was at my place and I told him to stay overnight and chat.

One thing I have found is that each of us has a visual representation of depression. In that I mean, it's a vision that has the ability to shatter each of us mentally and emotionally. Each vision is different and it doesn't matter if it's memory or not. My own visual representation is in my Jester Wars fan fic here on the madboards and is in the chapter that deals with the funeral of Mark's parents.

In terms of myself, I've nearly suicided on numerous times over the years, dating back to my teens. I've lost count the times I've had a knife to my wrist or looked at taking a lot of different pills to overdose on. This was mainly in my teen/early 20's period, but even now, it does pop up in my mind when I'm mentally and emotionally drained or stressed.

For me however, I do have numerous anchors to stop me from doing self harm. My GP who's also a friend, my family and my boss. My boss's husband also suffers from depression. Those anchors are meaningless if you don't have the courage and will power to call out for help. In Baxy's case, he called out to me when I said welcome back in a pm to him here. I've now offerred myself as an anchor for him to use, due to his lack of them.

I hope that I've helped him with the 1 1/2hrs I spent talking and listening to him. I couldn't spend more time due to the fact that I had to go to work, but I've also invited him to my place next thursday, to stay overnight, so that we can continue our discussion. Anyone else who wants to join in the discussion and watch some dvd's are more than welcome.


I want people to discuss this. It's all to easy here on the internet to hide behind our keyboards and let things fester in real life.

I've put myself wide open on this and I hope this thread helps other madboarders who are sufferring in silence.
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Kermi
resonance cascade


Joined: 17 Dec 2002
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Location: the bottom of a vodka bottle

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 1:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I want to get in early on this one (though not to contribute - sorry JESTER), to say that this is an extremely sensitive topic for a lot of people and discussing it in an open topic like that is something that should be considered very carefully.

That said, for the benefit of those who do feel comfortable sharing in this thread, that any abusive or offensive behaviour in or as a result of this thread will be extremely closely monitored. The moment the Madboards staff determine that the thread is taking a turn for the worse we will shut it down and take swift action against those concerned.

Once again, I strongly urge anyone suffering from depression or other emotional issues to carefully consider whether or not they want their experiences shared in a public environment, as while I do not discourage people within a specific community from wanting to discuss an issue with likeminded people, the best advice only ever comes from dedicated, qualified professionals who make it their responsibility to assist people in these situations.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11667
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thanks Kermi.

It IS a personal thing and a lot of people won't be able to come out and say that they have it, but I'm hoping that those who are also sufferring from it, get some pointers in how to deal with it. For each person it is different though the condition is the same and so to is the result if it isn't confronted and defeated.

I've come forward as I know what it's like to battle and prevail then battle again. I've remarked to family and coworkers that I'm amazed that I'm still here and not 6ft under. I've scared my doctor to the point that he called my parents as soon as I've left his office and mum took the next train from the north coast down to Sydney. I've been through that and no doubt that it'll happen again in the future.

In it's own way, this thread is something that will lighten my burden. It's another arrow in my quiver to use, the next time I find myself slipping once again.
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HeDanny
Grumpy Old Man


Joined: 23 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Some helpful websites:
Beyond Blue
Lifeline
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Mad Anime Fan
Banned


Joined: 18 Dec 2004
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Location: Sydney, Australia

PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Ok wow, Gir such a great contribution.
Making fun of it as mentioned earlier is not something to take lightly in fact the suggestion to some people of abuse is the stuff which can cause depression in some people.

And it's not funny because I myself lost a friend from depression when he killed himself and I also know someone I'm close to, who also has it.
So how about not being the troll yourself and showing some respect and treating this topic properly?(as the TC and an admin asked)
I think I say it for a lot of people, when you should show respect to a sensitive issue.
And if you think joking about bashings(or suggesting it in a form) is funny, you need a reality check.


Last edited by Mad Anime Fan on Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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HeDanny
Grumpy Old Man


Joined: 23 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
If it is a troll then its the best I have ever seen. I tip my hat to you if it is Jester, you got me hook line and sinker. True work of art.

I really don't think it is a troll. At least that is what my gut is telling me. That is why I posted the links.

I too question the logic of public exposure to anon. Hopefully the mods will keep a tight cap on the "man up" and "check your meds" etc posts. Huge, huge gamble this, considering the subject matter.
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Renton7
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Joined: 20 Sep 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Gir_2.0 wrote:
Troll stuff


And this is the sort of stuff that will get this topic locked. Honestly, this is to help people in tough situations, people have lost lives over this and you lol'd, and not only that, in most cases they would have families too, it's not just that one individual affected.

Now it may not be the place for everyone, but it can certainly help those who do find this right for them, talking to someone you don't know in anonymity may help, as although you don't know them they may have experiences in their life that can help one resolve issues. Other may confide in their family, or friends, as it will be on a more personal level. Where one can also see a specialist which can help on a deeper and more understanding (in term of following the situation based on knowledge) approach. Each person will have their own way and approach to deal with things, in any situation, just in worst case situations I hope people can make those life changing decisions for the better.

I am not any professional in these situations, but everyone has experienced some form of depression, whether it be very light, to loosing a game of sport, or something big, to loosing a loved one. So in saying this I will be willing to help as well to the best of my ability.

Gir_2.0 wrote:
and then take it out on your wife and kids.


Let's see how long your marriage will last. I'm far from marriage myself, at least 5-7years off, but I can clearly say good luck to you if you follow that logic.
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Greoboruri
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'm had depression on and off since about 1995. Only got it diagnosed proper in mid 2007. For some reason it was diagnosed as severe, despite the fact I'd felt much, much worse years prior. So my doctor puts me onto Escitalopram (Esipram, Lexapro) which has me moving in slow motion for about two days, but I felt euphoric after that and surprisingly more outgoing and social. But after a couple of weeks, the effect of it just seemed to wear off and I felt a dullness and depressive thoughts started to creep in. The doctor wanted to put me on Venlafaxine (Effexor, Efexor) after that, but I researched it and decided against it. I went off the Lexapro cold turkey, no stepping down, and I had this popping in my head for a couple of days. Very weird.

So by the end of 2007 and into early 2008, I finally received a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome which is essentially the cause of the depression (or rather lack any long term relationships - not being able to read subtle clues in body language and lacking a degree of empathy does not really help in this regard, but the not knowing what was going wrong and seeing other people doing it with seemingly effortless ease nearly killed me).

So from this I learnt to understand why I was getting depressed and the true root cause of what was going on. Also I discovered that more physical exercise is much better at keeping my depression at bay rather than drugs which don't agree with me much. So maybe more exercise and finding the true root causes maybe a whole lot better than having your doctor continually prescribing drugs which are essentially changing your mood and thoughts (and not always for the better).
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Phoenix85
Ryuk


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
JESTER wrote:
It IS a personal thing and a lot of people won't be able to come out and say that they have it, but I'm hoping that those who are also suffering from it, get some pointers in how to deal with it.

This could be said for those who don't have depression too. I've known a couple of people with depression over the years but I'm at a total loss with what to do and say when they're having a not-so-good day, the best I've been able to come up with are distractions, since they've tended to make it clear they don't want to talk about it.
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Gouki
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Joined: 01 Oct 2001
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Towards the end of year 12 I became badly depressed when I was at home. Not because I hated my home life (although my sister going feral didn't help). For the first time ever, thanks to my cockyness and laziness I was actually struggling at school. In math methods. I breezed through that in year 11 and suddenley I'm doing so badly. What the hell? I was getting sick of hiding who I was and was so disappointed in myself. I was always proud that of my intelligence and that I didn't care what people thought about me and suddenly those two things were tearing me apart. I wrote a few notes that sort of thing, but never had the guts to go through with it. I think the constant cycle was just me working through it. I'm well aware that it was badly.

It seemed to clear up until I got a job at Harvey Norman. The long hours, lack of pay and getting jerked around started to get to me. I had to take responsibility for everyone elses work not getting done even though I had more than enough of my own. I started calling in sick a lot. I was bored, furstrated and felt trapped so I quit. It got better. Tried one lat ditch attempt at proving to myself I wasn't gay by telling one of my friends I liked her. She rejected it, I really didn't mind much. You know how it is, you get along so well with them, you enjoy spending time with them so clearly it must be love right because your so straight and not gay at all.

Then.

When I first moved out of home, for Uni I got really depressed. I barely left my room, was always tired, wouldn't eat much, couldn't make decisions about anything. I would literally go to the food cupboard and stare at it for fifteen minutes before walking away with nohting. I pretty much stopped going to class except Japanese.

I felt so alone (admittedly, thanks to that I was able to breeze through a bunch of series I'd wanted to watch and rewatch that I'd taken with me but thats neither here nor there). I was able to put up a happy face around Uni most of the time when I could be bothered leaving my room for Uni functions. But I always got easy going and happy when drunk, rather than sad.

Alot of this probably had to do with my being gay and never being away from home like this before. I mean, at least at home, I'd known the kind of facade I'd had to put up (only, turns out I didn't, Mum and Dad accepted it completely).. I'd been doing it for 20 years. I'd been to Catholic school and so on. I figured at Uni I would be able to come out straight away, but nope. It wasn't as easy I thought, I was still telling myself I was bi to make it easier if it did just slip out there. I hooked up with a girl for a while hated it the whole time. We saw each other about three times in a five week period. I told her friends I was bi but really preferred men. Broke up with her while brushing her teeth. This is after a 21st where I got so drunk wanting someone to just make out with me so I wouldn't need to break up with her myself for being gay.

I never thought about killing myself at Uni. I did consider dropping off the radar for a while, but again, was too much of a coward to do anything about it.

I realised I needed to do something (although the not eating thing wasn't bad, I looked good.Razz), and started trying to talk to people. Turns out I didn't really have anyone I could confide in. Two of my closest friends were a no go. One was so unreliable it bordered on self-parody and the other gets uncomfortable talking about emotional issues and another, well, she had a thing for me and I kind of led her on because I liked the attention. It made me feel good.

Through a website that isn't really suitable to be discussed here I came into contact with someone who is now one of my closest friends who really helped me through the various things my brain needed to sort out (not in that way perverts). I went and saw him whenever I started to feel unsatisfactory and I saw the doctor about some anit-depressants. They worked, or at least made me feel like they did, but I'm off them now.

My partner helped out hugely. Accepting me 100% for who I am, he is the most amazing person around. The first time I met him we became inseperable and when we left our mates place house to return to our repesctive homes I had a huge panic attack thinking I would never see him again, realising ****, I am gay I need to tell my parents. So on.

Pretty much all of the anguish is gone, even if I still have bad days. Money, for example, swallows me up. So does a couple of other things. But generally I've got it under control.

Of course, my Mum, Nan and Nana all suffer(ed) depression. So who knows what will happen as I get older. I've got a good thing going now.
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StorminNorman
Gillard-chan


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I actually suffered drug-induced depression for a time in the late 1990s. I'd been diagnosed with a severe case of acne (on my chest, of all places!), and put on a drug called Roaccutane. Among the various side-effects (dry lips, constant blood noses, liver failure etc) was depression, and it hit me pretty hard (what didn't help was that I was also doing VCE at the time).

I was taken off the drug after six months or so (it had mostly worked by then anyway, thankfully), and immediately things picked up.

That's pretty much my only real experience with depression, I guess.
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HimuraBattousai
Kagami Yagami


Joined: 26 Aug 2003
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Renton7 wrote:
I am not any professional in these situations, but everyone has experienced some form of depression, whether it be very light, to loosing a game of sport, or something big, to loosing a loved one.


Actually, no. There is a huge difference between feeling sad for a little while because something sad happened and actual depression. Even spending an entire day crying when a family member dies is different from depression.

I've had my battles with depression too. I still don't like discussing the details, especially in a setting like this, but I would like to let other sufferers know that they are not alone.
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Kero-chan
Priss Asagiri


Joined: 17 Jun 2001
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Depression is not as simple as feeling sad, but it is reasonably common. Don't let fear of any negative stigma stop you seeking help if you feel you need it - depression is a legitimate medical condition.
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Tachikoma
Shiki Tohno


Joined: 21 Aug 2003
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hmm I started a thread about this a while back, but I can't find it no more. It had some pretty good discussions about this topic; shame it disappeared.


I had a fair share of problems my self, thankfully I managed to get top of it with some self imposed mental conditioning. I had panic disorder a while back, it was severe and it was an internal feeling (or experience) when the attacks were in effect. No, I wasn't running around the room in circles waving arms in the air in hysteria. Razz

Imagine you peering over the rail of a high bridge, then someone nudges you from behind, just give you a fright. Imagine that feeling popping up at random, for no apparent reason. (Well, there is a reason, but i cbf delving too deeply into neuroscience aspect, as I have dumplings to make this afternoon.)

Waking up at 3am in the morning with your adrenaline levels through the roof was not nice. The condition brought out other complications, such as depression, because I felt really debilitated by the panic attacks. The attacks themselves weren't really that frightening, it was the prospect of living with panic attacks for the rest of my life frightened me.

When I first had them, I immediately recognised what the problem was, so I hauled my ass to the doctors within two weeks. They got me onto meds for the next 6 months, which was a hell of a ride for me. The side effects from the meds made things worse at times; I didn't think it helped me much, so I decided to wean myself off. (Oddly enough, when I was taking the pillz my fear of heights were suppressed, which I found amusing.)

So how did I get over it? Well the good news is, anxiety and panic related disorders can be overcome by training your brain to unlearn the trigger. In some cases, the centre that prompts a fright-and-flight response in your brain erroneously associates a harmless event with a panic trigger. (In my case, it was the change of consciousness, like falling asleep or waking up.) To get on top of it, I kept myself busy and distracted myself from the feeling every time I felt edgy. Initially it's hard to do, but the severity fades away in time. Of course, some people might need the right medication to help them overcome the feeling - but I opted to do without. Worked quite well, I think, and the associated depression has faded out as well.

Your brain is more malleable than you think. Medication is only part of the solution; it gives you a window of opportunity to pick up the pieces and go on the road of recovery. Adjusting your lifestyle and conditioning your mind is just as important.
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Mad Anime Fan
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
You know I admit to part doing that to help get over my fear of thunderstorms and things of the sort to an extent where it is more controllable.
For instance when I was younger I would find the nearest pillow or grab my set of earplugs and cover them when bad storms rolled up.
Over a period of time, I've become used to them more and can handle low to medium storms with little to no fear, it's only bad storms which can cause me to jump or stuff(the ones which sound like a loud "cracking" boom of a rumble)
So yeah it's handy, how did it was simple, I somewhat did that because, storms are up there I'm down here I'm 1 in 1000,0000 people chances are I'm not going to be hit.

Although on the other hand I get the odd feeling I have sensitivity to noise, the occasional unexpected air break of a parked bus can cause me to jump at times, but I'm more prepared for it, same thing with train horns and thing.

So you are right it is possible to do.
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animefreak.97
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Joined: 15 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Mad Anime Fan wrote:
You know I admit to part doing that to help get over my fear of thunderstorms and things of the sort to an extent where it is more controllable.
For instance when I was younger I would find the nearest pillow or grab my set of earplugs and cover them when bad storms rolled up.
Over a period of time, I've become used to them more and can handle low to medium storms with little to no fear, it's only bad storms which can cause me to jump or stuff(the ones which sound like a loud "cracking" boom of a rumble)

Thats exactly like me. When I was smaller I used to be terrified of thunder storms and sometimes even cry. But now I can cope with it more.
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Kyoto Hanyo
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I suffer from the scourge known as depression(amongst other things). Though that's about all I want to say about here in the open on the web.
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Inniss 1428
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'm on the recovering end of a depressive episode, and it certainly was not pleasant. I'm still having motivational issues, but hopefully the routine of Uni life will get that back into me, as I'm fond of routines.

Still, even now, I can't see any actual point to life, but I manage to get by each day by finding some way of keeping my mind otherwise occupied. I like to set myself little obsessive compulsive goals in WoW that will take me ages to complete, just to keep myself busy in that. Plus I'm looking forward to returning to study, as I've always enjoyed education.

Basically any form of escapism I can find is my coping mechanism, since I'm unable to alter the underlying thoughts that lead to my depression. I don't care what anyone else says, escapism is good for you.
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Tachikoma
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
I don't care what anyone else says, escapism is good for you.

I agree. Now imagine you can turn that escapism into something that gives you a point to life.
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Soul Master Kaze
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
The breaking point for me was when I was 14, in 2003. I was being bullied by a teacher at school, my family weren't being easy to live with, and then one of my friends killed herself. From then, it was a massive downward spiral. I didn't want to do anything, nobody wanted to listen or help, and I couldn't see a way out. So I tried to find a way out, and attempted suicide. The very reason that I'm here writing this is because I got the dosage wrong. I was on antidepressants for three years, and I'm still feeling the aftereffects of them, in that I can't feel emotion very strongly. Note that I was never told what I was taking, or why I was taking them. Possibly because I would have refused to take them.

In the end, I wondered why I was taking them, and stopped. Cold turkey. Bad call. The following few weeks are nothing but a blur to me. All I know is that I was constantly feeling dizzy and sick. Fortunately, one of my close friends started coming to the school that I went to around about this point, and, as she also has a history of depression, we helped each other get through things. Even though she's grown more distant with me over the last few months, she's definitely been a great help in getting me through trouble spots.

These days, I generally have a few depressive episodes a year. I stop blogging, I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't even want to get out of bed, let alone go to uni or do any work. But I now know that it's going to be a part of my life for the rest of my life, and if I just curl up under a doona and watch movies/do whatever until it passes, I'll get through it.

For me, there are good days and bad days. Bad days can last 20 minutes, they can last weeks. The trick is to find something that works, and to not lose sight of the future. Hollow words, I know, but they work for me.

Also, I reserve the right to edit this post in the future if I've worded something poorly.
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El^Presidente
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:17 am    Post subject: Re: Depression - Discussion Thread Reply with quote
JESTER wrote:
Though it is treatable, it ISN'T currable.

Yes it is.

Quote:
Psychiatrists are a help, but aren't the be all and end all.

True, but combined with meds and yourself they will help you overcome it.

The whole point of going to a psychiatrist is to learn how to change how you think, so you don't go back into those mood swings. Most people know how to control them, people with depression don't.

Brotip: Sertraline is awesome.
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Kyoto Hanyo
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I found psychiatrists to be pretty unhelpful. I went to a couple of different ones, the first one didn't even really have the time of day for me. The second, who admittedly was better, wasn't the best either. I was seeing him for quite a while and in the end we made some progress. Though he then decided he wanted to trial me on the new fad med which was all the rage at the conferences and seminars he was attending at the time. They were tranqulisers and I was his guinea pig. I looked up the active constituent online and decided against it as the side effects sounded terrible and I don't want to be tranqulised.

I was on Setraline based medication on and off for a few years and I will admit they did help to a degree, but I found that the main side effect (a VERY common side effect in anti depressant type meds) was weight gain. I tend to gain weight very easily and become depressed, then I overeat because I am depressed and generally overindulge in other ways. So I got off the SSRI type meds because ultimately they weren't doing me a whole lot of good in various ways (some described above). They actually did help to a certain degree with my anxiety disorder they also seemed to make my appetite for booze much more than it usually is. So Setraline coupled with weight gain, food binges and drinking led to more weight gain which led to further depression and also anxiety about my body image etc; etc; etc;

@El^Presidente what is this miracle cure all you allude to? I would like to know as I have never heard of such a thing and I have suffered from depression in one form or another since before my teens. I am now 29 and haven't found any one thing that actually has cured me. Maybe because I have various mental problems that this "cure all" is ineffective. But to be honest, I don't really believe there is one. If there was, there wouldn't be so many (and there is a real lot out there) people who suffer from depression and the other things that can accompany it...


Currently I am on no medications, I am doing OK, but I wouldn't describe myself a completely stable either.
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HimuraBattousai
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 2:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Depression - Discussion Thread Reply with quote
El^Presidente wrote:
Yes it is.


No, it's not. Depression is a lot like cancer in this way... it's treatable in many cases, but we are far from having something that will cure it in everyone.
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El^Presidente
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Kyoto Hanyo wrote:
I found psychiatrists to be pretty unhelpful. I went to a couple of different ones, the first one didn't even really have the time of day for me. The second, who admittedly was better, wasn't the best either.

I'm going to a fantastic psychiatrist at the moment, medicare funded, and she's helped me a lot.


@El^Presidente what is this miracle cure all you allude to? I would like to know as I have never heard of such a thing and I have suffered from depression in one form or another since before my teens.
[/quote]

HimuraBattousai wrote:

No, it's not. Depression is a lot like cancer in this way... it's treatable in many cases, but we are far from having something that will cure it in everyone.


A cure is described as 'even a philosophical mindset that helps a person heal' now as previously mentioned, and in many cases, changing the way you think (and your thought processes) counts as a cure. It's a hard and rocky path, sure, but it's still possible.

(Brotip: I've had depression since I was in my teens, and I'm 24 now)
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HimuraBattousai
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
El^Presidente wrote:
A cure is described as 'even a philosophical mindset that helps a person heal' now as previously mentioned, and in many cases, changing the way you think (and your thought processes) counts as a cure. It's a hard and rocky path, sure, but it's still possible.


I acknowledge that it can be an effective treatment for many, but there's still no truly reliable cure.
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Nargun
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 6:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Inniss 1428 wrote:
Basically any form of escapism I can find is my coping mechanism, since I'm unable to alter the underlying thoughts that lead to my depression. I don't care what anyone else says, escapism is good for you.


In the right doses, sure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxygen_toxicity

It's the same in the other direction, too: there's a lot of stuff that's toxic in reasonable doses that is necessary for life at low doses. Most heavy metals, for example.

Lesson? moderation in all things.
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CG
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
The "depression" tag gets bandied around far too much these days. Feeling a bit down does not mean you instantly have depression.
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JESTER
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
HeDanny wrote:
If it is a troll then its the best I have ever seen. I tip my hat to you if it is Jester, you got me hook line and sinker. True work of art.

I really don't think it is a troll. At least that is what my gut is telling me. That is why I posted the links.

I too question the logic of public exposure to anon. Hopefully the mods will keep a tight cap on the "man up" and "check your meds" etc posts. Huge, huge gamble this, considering the subject matter.

It truly is me HeDanny. Look at my post count and start date. Baxy, if he decides to join this thread will also back me since we met on saturday to talk about his depression and what I've learned from personal experience.


CG wrote:
The "depression" tag gets bandied around far too much these days. Feeling a bit down does not mean you instantly have depression.

Which is why I stated my own battle which I've been dealing with for more than half of my life. As I've said in my 2nd post, I've even freaked the crap out of my family doctor who straight off called my parents when I left his office. I hit rock bottom for several days before I can even start thinking straight. I take a week or so off from work and one of my parents are usually there to help me after taking a 10hr train trip. If they can't get there, one of my sisters come out.

A lot of cascading events or emotions which hits you mentally till the point of it shattering. For me, I've learned to notice when I'm approaching the cliffs edge and I'm then able to call for help. My doctor has wanted me to see a "shrink", but I say no, even though I'm entitled to 3 free visits a year I think he said. The thought of telling that person scares me. I know the various triggers and for the most part can soften the impact of them, but they're also pretty damn persistent. That persistence eventually overwhelms the barriers I set in place, like a damn being breached.

My brother has sufferred depression and did the one thing that I haven't been desperate enough to do. He went to the hospital and put himself under the complete control of the medical staff and psychiatrists. He told only his boss and his best mate/flate mate what he was going to do. We found out thru his friend and that was it. No contact from my brother till he was given the all clear by them to do so. This was for at least a month and his boss stood by him and kept his job safe.

The reason for him going to these lengths was because the mother of his daughter did everything she could to get him to commit suicide. She hounded him day and night and tried to make him pennyless. It's been over 3 years since then and last weekend he was at the mediation table to get more access to his daughter from her. If not, then it'll go to court. My brother is living for his daughter. She's the most important part of his life that prevents him from getting down for long. The fact that she deeply loves her father is what keeps him going.



I've been finding everyone elses views interesting and have missed a few that were removed from when I was last here. By the sounds of things, it was proberly just as well.

Race car driver Marcus Ambrose did a full page on his battle with depression. This was in Sydney's Daily Telegraph for monday 15 June.

I'll see if I can hunt it up on the net instead of scanning the page from the paper.
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poke__egg
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
CG wrote:
The "depression" tag gets bandied around far too much these days. Feeling a bit down does not mean you instantly have depression.


/signed.

Depression is a serious thing, and an actual disorder and all that. But nowadays it's all the rage to be all "OH IM SAD I MUST HAVE DEPRESSION HURR" and it's annoying. Just like self-diagnosing assburgers. "OH I LOOKED UP THE SYMPTOMS AND I DO THAT STUFF SO I MUST HAVE IT" kinda ****.
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Soul Master Kaze
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
CG wrote:
The "depression" tag gets bandied around far too much these days. Feeling a bit down does not mean you instantly have depression.


You are correct. And because people regard it in such a light manner, people, by and large, expect you to get over it in a few days, and really aren't too supportive in general.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'd just like to remind people to put a little thought into what they post in this thread. We've already temporarily banned one user because of this thread, and we really don't want to ban more.
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Greoboruri
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 10:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
poke__egg wrote:
Just like self-diagnosing assburgers. "OH I LOOKED UP THE SYMPTOMS AND I DO THAT STUFF SO I MUST HAVE IT" kinda ****.
Generally if people do find that they similar symptoms, more than likely they will be diagnosed for that condition, especially for something like depression or asperger's syndrome. I recognised I may have it, then suggested it to the psychologist I was seeing.

Having being diagnosed (by two psychologists no less) it has always amused me when I hear about the mythical band of non-diagnosed people apparently masquerading as aspergers sufferers. In my travels in trying figure out what the hell it all meant, including going to meetings and contacting the local Autism society, I have yet to come across anyone who has claimed that they have aspergers and NOT been diagnosed. I also find it amusing that some neurotypical people (i.e. those not afflicted with something like Autism) are unable or refuse to empathise with those who have asperger's, especially since I'M the one who HAS a very limited ability to empathise seeing as I have the bloody condition.
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Blaze
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
This is a serious matter and I understand how you feel.
I was depressed at one stage, but not to the point of suicide.
A friend of mine got me to read "Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill".
You may think that the book is nothing but a get rich quick book, however he mostly talks about the human mind, mastermind and all the things that people mostly fear.
However I should also state that seeing a Doctor should be a priority as well.
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Blaze
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
This topic is a serious personal matter and some responses may upset you even more. If my previous post upsetted you in anyway then I apologise.
However, do have a quick read of the book or any others that people suggest. You are in a very difficult time at the moment and I'm sure that you'll be able to shine through, no matter the circumstances. Remember you have alot of people on this forum who have gone through depression and come out even stronger than before or have learned from the experience.
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kbz333
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
putting in my quick 2 cents - i had depression, probably had it through high school, but didn't recognize it, hit me after i had missy - even then i was in denial, but you'd be depressed too if the father of your child was a lazy arsed so and so who refused to help round the house and yelled abuse at you at 2am cause the baby won't stop crying and he wanted his precious sleep and you've been up all day with no sleep and had tried everything you could and nothing would settle bub...

i got through on pure determination and willpower, i live for my children, even now i still have my depressive moods, just not as often or as bad as they used to be...
i also lock myself away from the world - dealing only with the kids till it passes, usually lasts for a few days to a week depending on things in my life...
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Blaze
Washu Hakubi


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
[quote="kbz333"]putting in my quick 2 cents - i had depression, probably had it through high school, but didn't recognize it, hit me after i had missy - even then i was in denial, but you'd be depressed too if the father of your child was a lazy arsed so and so who refused to help round the house and yelled abuse at you at 2am cause the baby won't stop crying and he wanted his precious sleep and you've been up all day with no sleep and had tried everything you could and nothing would settle bub...

i got through on pure determination and willpower, i live for my children, even now i still have my depressive moods, just not as often or as bad as they used to be...
i also lock myself away from the world - dealing only with the kids till it passes, usually lasts for a few days to a week depending on things in my life...[/quote]

Good on you!
You have learned to get by through your own determination.
Remember this word because it is the only thing that can get you through the most difficult times. Alot of people think that medication or physciatrists would help them out, but it's your own determination that will get you through and allow you to see opportunities you never would have considered.
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poke__egg
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Greoboruri wrote:
Generally if people do find that they similar symptoms, more than likely they will be diagnosed for that condition, especially for something like depression or asperger's syndrome. I recognised I may have it, then suggested it to the psychologist I was seeing.


see, the difference there, is that you're seeing a psychologist, and were able to get a diagnosis. There are 2 people in the complex i live in (out of 120 or so), that claim to have it, and use it as a reason for doing all kinds of weird things, but when it's bought up in conversation "oh you've got aspergers, have you seen a doc or anyone about it?" it becomes "oh no, i just know i have it, i don't need a doctor to tell me, because i know what it is and i have it".

In no way am i discrediting yourself or anyone that has a clinical diagnosis for any mental disorder, it's the people who act like the above that really get to me. To me, it's the same as going "i have a broken leg, i haven't seen a doctor but i know it's broken and therefore don't need to see one." I know i know, ones physical, one's mental, but i feel unless you see a doctor/psychologist/medical professional to get a diagnosis, you might have a good idea of what it is, but you've got a higher chance of being wrong than a doctor does.
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Baxy
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
JESTER wrote:
It truly is me HeDanny. Look at my post count and start date. Baxy, if he decides to join this thread will also back me since we met on saturday to talk about his depression and what I've learned from personal experience.


I should of done this sooner but to rest all doubt of what anyone else thinks. What Jester said in his first post is very close to word for word what he told me when we met.
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JESTER
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I had Baxy come over to my place at 10am yesterday and we spent a fair bit talking. I did cook up my tacos for lunch as we watched Cannonball Run and 2 eps of Project ARMS. Baxy was able to get a few things off his chest and was able to talk to his family about his problems between the time we talked on saturday and thursday.
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Gouki
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
poke__egg wrote:
see, the difference there, is that you're seeing a psychologist, and were able to get a diagnosis. There are 2 people in the complex i live in (out of 120 or so), that claim to have it, and use it as a reason for doing all kinds of weird things, but when it's bought up in conversation "oh you've got aspergers, have you seen a doc or anyone about it?" it becomes "oh no, i just know i have it, i don't need a doctor to tell me, because i know what it is and i have it".

In no way am i discrediting yourself or anyone that has a clinical diagnosis for any mental disorder, it's the people who act like the above that really get to me. To me, it's the same as going "i have a broken leg, i haven't seen a doctor but i know it's broken and therefore don't need to see one." I know i know, ones physical, one's mental, but i feel unless you see a doctor/psychologist/medical professional to get a diagnosis, you might have a good idea of what it is, but you've got a higher chance of being wrong than a doctor does.


I agree with you there. Some people are able to successfully self-diagnose, but the majoirty read a few symptoms off the internet or from a book and assume they have the disease.

It's like all these people who, when they get sick, assume the have bird or swine flu or whatever the latest craze is at that time.

Hell, I got a really bad rash between my legs a while, to the point where it started to smell and tried to look up symptons on the internet and found a variety of things trying to tell me I had cancer, HIV, AIDs or diabetes, when it was a form of tinea I got from going to the beachl walking around for six hours with no change of clothes and then going to Wet n Wild the next day and doing the exact same thing in rain.

It's all well and good to say you know your body and mind, but to completely ignore the option of a second opinion of potentially very damaging. I don't know what I would have done without going to see a doctor and say "look, this is whats happening, do I have depression or am I just homesick and lonely?"

My mum was the same, and if she hadn't gone to the doctor and been diagnosed for depression my parents would have gotten a divorce or worse it was getting that bad.
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anime_queen
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
My depression is caused by the biggest fears/insecurities and lack of understanding.

Most people know me as a drama case from so long ago and admittedly I was such an idiot for it.
It took me to the point of losing all of my friends to stop me from what I was doing but after that it progressed to fears and insecurities and back into depression.
I've let down so many people and embarrassed myself that for about 4 years I think of nothing but trying to impress those very people Iíve let down and to prove to them that I am different.
For 4 years, I've been exhausting my mind with thoughts of thinking everyone around me hates me for all the idiotic things I've done and it doesn't really help that I pretty much don't have any friends to talk to.
Also, I donít want to burden anyone anymore with my problemsÖI know how annoying it is to hear someone always moaning and groaning about things that other people find it simple to get over.

Even on the madboards, I get so frightened and become obsessed with trying to make sure I don't say anything that would cause people to hate me even more.
This is what's made me become depressed and because of my own ego...I'm having trouble finding the guts to go and seek help.
I donít want to be unhappy anymore and I donít want to complain about my life which I know isnít as bad as I think it is.

Until, I'm a brighter and happier person and much more confidant. I don't think anyone will want to become my friend.

I'm sorryÖI'm not sure if this is the same as everybody else's. It's probably not even as severe as everyone else's depression but this is what I'm admitting too and hopefully I can change because I'm not a happy person and I'm letting myself down.

On another note: I'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me. This is just a confession.

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Gouki
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
anime_queen wrote:
Also, I donít want to burden anyone anymore with my problemsÖI know how annoying it is to hear someone always moaning and groaning about things that other people find it simple to get over.


Burdening people with your problems is the best thing to do. My partner and I have a friend, and when she comes around and we drink one of us frequently has to counsel her on whatever is "wrong" with her at that moment.

And honestly it helps her a ****load and reinforces out friendship with her. But...

Quote:
Even on the madboards, I get so frightened and become obsessed with trying to make sure I don't say anything that would cause people to hate me even more.


... this is a huge problem. And I'm not overly sure how to combat it.


Quote:
This is what's made me become depressed and because of my own ego...I'm having trouble finding the guts to go and seek help.


I'd say just swallow your pride, but I know how hard that is from personal experience, and it wasn't until I met certain people I realised who I was, what I was and what needed to be done.


Quote:
I donít want to be unhappy anymore and I donít want to complain about my life which I know isnít as bad as I think it is.


Everyone's life has different degrees of suck. And if complaining makes you feel better you have to complain, the trick is finding someone who will listen and understand.

Quote:
Until, I'm a brighter and happier person and much more confidant. I don't think anyone will want to become my friend.


And unfortunately this is the problem and it's a really big hurdle to overcome. You really do, despite how difficult it is, go and ask someone, anyone, for help. Even if you have to go half away across the city or to another town to be completely anonymous out of embarassment to a doctor.

Quote:
I'm sorryÖI'm not sure if this is the same as everybody else's. It's probably not even as severe as everyone else's depression but this is what I'm admitting too and hopefully I can change because I'm not a happy person and I'm letting myself down.


That was my problem, too. Again I am hugely lucky (I guess having interests of an adult nature helps) to have had the help I did. But as I said before you really do need to just bite the bullet and ask for help.

It might seem token but there are always people around, if you need to shoot me, for example, a message feel free.

Quote:
On another note: I'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me. This is just a confession.


I'm not, by the way, feeling sorry for you. I'm offering my two bob.
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poke__egg
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Gouki wrote:
Again I am hugely lucky (I guess having interests of an adult nature helps)


I thought of porn straight away. does this make me a bad person? Razz
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Gouki
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
poke__egg wrote:
I thought of porn straight away. does this make me a bad person? Razz


Well, it is kind of fetish related so yeah. Razz
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JESTER
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
The hardest thing besides admitting that you have it, is to seek help. Your local doctor, one that knows you is a good first step. Talking to your family about it is very hard and you can do that before going to the doctor. Having the support when you see your doctor really helps lift the burden. Just ask Baxy. My family found out when I broke down and couldn't go to work and my sister left her workplace 3 hrs away to help me.

Pride can be one of the biggest hinderances when it comes to depression. Because of it, you feel that you must be able to deal with it on your own. Having pride in seeking help when we need it is what you have to goad yourself to do.

Admitting it here is also a start.


A song that I played for Baxy when he came over deals with depression and trying to combat it. The song is called Pale by Within Temptation on their Silent Force album. I know Baxy was paying close attention to it and I think he may end up buying a copy of that album because of that song.
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anime_queen
Li Syaoran


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thanks, Gouki your input is really nice =)
I did talk to my mother in law, because she said her work offers free counselling and hopefully I can go to that.
Though, she's a lovely and very experienced person when it comes to life. I talked to her last night about this problem because she wanted to know why I'm considering seeking help and she just gave me so much wisdom and knowledge about accepting myself and forgiving the past etc.
If you could just hear her talk; you'd feel so much better about yourself.

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Gouki
Vanilla H


Joined: 01 Oct 2001
Posts: 6599
Location: Ballarat

PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Also, I used to alternate between Sarah McLachlan, Tegan & Sara, Queen, Gackt & Ayumi Hamasaki's faster paced songs and Aqua whenever I was depressed. Sarah McLachlan wasn't the best idea at first though, but her haunting music about how things can be good and you can be happy and such is surprisingly effective.
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Sylia Stingray


Joined: 12 Aug 2003
Posts: 2153
Location: Australia, Home of the Muffin

PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
StorminNorman wrote:
I actually suffered drug-induced depression for a time in the late 1990s. I'd been diagnosed with a severe case of acne (on my chest, of all places!), and put on a drug called Roaccutane. Among the various side-effects (dry lips, constant blood noses, liver failure etc) was depression, and it hit me pretty hard (what didn't help was that I was also doing VCE at the time).

I was taken off the drug after six months or so (it had mostly worked by then anyway, thankfully), and immediately things picked up.

That's pretty much my only real experience with depression, I guess.


I've actually heard of this drug as well having such a powerful depression inducing effect.
Apparently if you have any history of depression at all you can't be put on the drug (or you have to be under constant watch or something).

Pretty dangerous stuffs. Confused
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Misa Amane


Joined: 18 Apr 2003
Posts: 1626
Location: Fortress Brookvale

PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Anime Queen, what you said is pretty much the way I am. hardly any friends, feeling I let many people down, feeling of trying to prove I'm not who they say I am but in my case its more of thinking it than actually doing it because of fear of failure, I've had thoughts of thinking everyone hates me, didn't want to burden anyone and must deal with this myself.
The one which is hitting me even now is the one where you said you try and make sure you don't say anything wrong or what to be taken as wrong, I know this feeling too well I've been typing or rather thinking this for about 2hrs just up to this point trying to make sure first off not to sound silly and try to make at least a bit of sense, sometimes it get that bad I take over a week or 2 just to reply to an email.

I guess I'm not being much help so I'll try and think of something that helped me a little bit with talking to someone, hmm I'm not sure if it will help you but I try and picture the way I feel like mine is being stuck in a boat in the middle of foggy lake with one ore, I've use that a few times.
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fallenangelash
Kenshin Himura


Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Posts: 1078
Location: Sydney

PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I've been reading this discussion and wanted to contribute.

As many people in here, I also suffer from depression.

Its probably mostly due to me having Aspergers Syndrome, which has already been mentioned before. Having little to no friends either doesnt help .Accompanied with my now diagnosed Hashimoto's, (which is an autoimmune disease, its where the antibodies are attacking the thyroid gland like its a foreign object, effects are being extremely lethargic among other things although i've started taking medication for it..) has really taken it out of me. I have no motivation to do anything, especially my TAFE projects (I do graphic design, hard to do whilst having no motivation) and even just going outside each day. I feel like i can't handle day to day activities either, like going to work and going to TAFE.

Well thats me, and its not a place to be in. I know how it feels and i pray that you guys can become stronger.
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