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Gate Crashers Slaughterhouse



Gate Crashers Slaughterhouse
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 10:53 pm    Post subject: Gate Crashers Slaughterhouse Reply with quote
Okay. I'm aiming to start another series which will be the above title without the ().

I won't start this untill the Jester Chronicles and HDP are finished which shouldn't be that long, the way I'm going.

As for plot. This is about former victims of gate crashers deciding to get their revenge by creating fake parties online and when the gate crashers arrive, find there's no party, but a lot of armed unhappy people. It deals with the consequences and how other people find themselves sympathising and creating their own "Parties". I'm looking at an arc style of series, dealing with each group.

Due to how MM view things here on the boards, I'll have to keep sure that I don't get tooo graphic with the violence, but I also want to send a message on this. This is still in the planning stages, but I'm looking forward to do something based in reality and that's all too likely to eventually happen.


I'd like peoples views on this, before I officially start writing it.
_________________
Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.


Last edited by JESTER on Tue May 14, 2013 2:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'm back after not being here on the madboards in over a month.


As for what's happening with this series. It is simple. It's being done as 4 stories with up to 5 chapters. The first couple of chapters will set things up and the 3rd chapter is where the emotions are really gonna fly. I'd really would like to hear feedback on the 3rd chapter when I put it up.

The final story is where the true horror and reality that is Gatecrasher Slaughterhouse comes to fruition.

I'm trying to base this as much as possible on reality with each story dealing with different scenarios and different view points.

Story 1 - 14 year old boy
Story 2 - 18/19 year old guy - still deciding on whether it is 18 or 19 or even slightly older. Uni age maybe.
Story 3 - Father
Story 4 - Gatecrasher Slaughterhouse


The first chapter of the first story will be up tomorrow and just maybe the 2nd chapter will be up on Wednesday. I just have to type it up as I've already written the first chapter and most of the 2nd.
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When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Tue May 14, 2013 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
As promised in my previous post.


--- Gate Crasher Slaugherhouse ---

Story 1 - 14

Chapter 1


I'm 14 year old Toby Jenkins and I'm as normal as I can get. At least that is what I tell myself. I have friends and have gotten myself into a few fights. I play soccer and do okay at school, though it does suck.

My parents are okay. Nothing special. Dad's a mechanic at a car dealership a suburb or so away and mum is a highschool teacher at my school. That really sucks.

I'm an only child.


Quote:
To:
Ben, Cody, Stan, Cameron, Mikey

Subject:
My Birthday Party

Text:
I'm having my birthday party on the 5th of November at 5pm. We'll play Halo 4 on the XBox 360. Come on over



It's the 4th of November and I really don't want to get out of bed, but mum just keeps on banging on the door.


Mum - Get up Toby. It's 7am and you've got school.

Me - Mum. Do I have to?

Mum - Damn right you do. Get dressed and down for breakfast. Your father is already eating and tells me he'll eat your share if you're not down soon. If you want breakfast, you better hurry.

Me - Okay mum.


One of the things that suck having a mum who's also a teacher, is that there's no way to get out of school. Even if I'm sick, I'm sure to be either at school or have mum ram my lessons down my throat when she gets home. Another thing I'm sure of is that if I don't get up, she'll come back and bang on the door again, before entering and if I'm still unlucky to be in bed, have her tickle me.

Getting tickled by mum isn't fun or cool.

I get up and quickly shower, before getting dressed and walk down the stairs to the kitchen. Dad is sitting on a stool by the kitchen bench with a plate of bacon, eggs and toast in front of him. He has a mug of coffee in one hand and paperwork in the other. He looks up and sees me walk in.


Dad - You were up late again last night playing games. You can't do that tonight if you want your party to go ahead tomorrow. Bed early or no party. No excuses. I'll be finishing early tomorrow which is a nice change.


I sigh, but can't complain. I do want this party.

Mum pushes me from behind to another stool and seeing how little food is left, I quickly grab a plate and get what I can.


Mum - You have no more than 10 minutes to eat since you dawdled. Your lunch is over there by the sink.


I nod, but continue to concentrate on eating. Once done, I grab a glass of juice and quickly rinse off my plate, before racing up the stairs with my lunch and grab my school books. I quickly scan my room before packing up my bag and race down the stairs to see mum giving dad a quick kiss. Seeing me, she pushes me out the door to her old beat up Feroza.

Being driven to school by mum when you're 14 years old totally sucks!.

When we get to school, I take off to where I notice Stan and Cody were waiting near the front gate. As I get near them, Cody opens up his bag and pulls out the latest Assassins Creed game, Black Flag.


Cody - I got this yesterday and it was awesome playing it last night. I'll bring it over to your party tomorrow.

Me - Awesome. Dad's coming home early tomorrow and mum only has a half day as well. She's getting my grandparents to come over for the party since they've been complaining lately.

Stan - Bummer. We won't be able to have as much fun with them hanging around.


Before I could reply, Cameron, Mikey and Ben come racing in on their bikes and seeing us, they wave. We walk over to them as they chain their bikes and then start laughing as we realise how puffed out they were.



Ben - Yeh yeh!. Laugh as much as you want. I still got here on time.

Mikey - Got your email.

Cameron - You left it a bit late to send the invite though.

Cody - I was coming over anyway.


He waves his new game in front of them.


Cameron - Ba$tard!. My old man told me to wait till Xmas. I told him, my friends will get it sooner and he told me to go over to their house since he won't be buying it before then.

Stan - Sucked in!. I'm getting it next week.


Ben puts his right arm under his left armpit and starts making farting sounds when he swings his left arm back and forth.


Ben - That's what I think about that.


We start walking towards the school buildings and continue to argue the entire trip there. The other school kids ignore us, but one girl Amy Hewson gives me a smile and I smile back. The girl beside her noticing our exchange, curls up her right hand and moves her left finger through the middle of the right hand back and forth. She mouths "wanker" as she looks directly at me.

I in turn, noticing that the girl was "The Princess" Jessica Turner, lift my head and twist it to the side while patting my ar$e. My friends noticing what was going on, bend over laughing and with a murderous look on her face drags the giggling Amy away. Amy waves goodby as they go into a classroom.

We enter class and start the first of many boring lessons.



End Chapter 1.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Chapter 2 has been written and I'll get started on typing that up soon. It went a bit longer than I expected page wise.

Hopefully Chapter 3 won't take me long to write up, but I do know that Chapter 4 will be long page wise.

Just thinking about how I'll have chapter 4 written had me teary eyed at work, but it's also a bit daunting.

For the record, I write the story in an A4 folder before typing it up. The written version I consider my draft and the typed version as the finished release.

I'm trying to keep sure that I don't miss words or letters on the finished release version.
_________________
Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 12:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
The second chapter will be up tomorrow.
_________________
Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
--- Gate Crasher Slaugherhouse ---

Story 1 - 14

Chapter 2




It's my birthday today and once again I have school, but unlike last year. I'm actually having a party. I would've liked one last year, but mum and dad couldn't afford it as dads former workplace went bellyup and he lost his job due to it. Luckily for us, one of the car dealerships hired dad, but it wasn't pleasant last year.

Amy did come over last year for my birthday and the years before that, since my parents are best friends with Amy's parents. This year however I wanted it with Stan and my other male friends. Amy understood though I could tell she was disapointed.

I knew something was wrong when mum walks into my classroom during class and asks me to see her during lunch. Everyone turns to look at me after she leaves, but I just shrug my shoulders. My friends give me a questioning look, but I just mouth "party", but in reality it had to be something more than that. While I tried to pay attention, my thoughts keep on going on to why mum wants to see me.

At lunch time I race up the stairs to the teachers lounge and office. Mum is sitting behind a desk by a window looking disgusted at the papers in front of her. She notices me at the door and beckons me over. She points to a chair in front of her and I sit down wondering what's going on.


mum - I have to leave soon to grab your grandparents and to organise your party, but first you have to tell me what you did to Jessica Turner yesterday?.


I'm thinking what the hell she's blabbing about, but noticing mums look, I answer her honestly.


me - All I did was act all snobbish to her and patted my arse after she was mouthing I was a wanker and mimicing it with her hands. What's she bitching about this time?.

mum - This time?.

me - Yeh. She's always carrying on about Amy and I being friends.


Mum nods, but waits for me to say something more, but I say nothing.


mum - She's claiming that you were fondling her breasts and trying to put your hand down her skirt yesterday. She's claiming witnesses to that and her mother was in this morning threatening legal action if you weren't suspended or expelled over it. Principal Andrews notified me after Jessica's mother left the school.


I stare at mum in disbelief and then start cracking up laughing. The very thought of doing that to Jessica was hilarious and I notice the other teachers looking at me with disgust, perplexity, humour and other emotions I wasn't interested in. No. The only thing I was currently interested in was laughing as imaging doing that to her was funny as hell. Not that she wasn't pretty, but honestly.


mum - Toby?


I hold up my hand and eventually managed to stop laughing. I take a deep breath and look at mum through my teary eyes.


me - I'm sorry mum, but that's hilarious. Me doing that to Jessica..... Why would I want to feel her up of all people?. I mean she's a snobbish princess and her singing voice could raise the dead with that shriek.

mum - Maybe you can tell me?. Was anyone with you when she called you a wanker?.

me - Amy, Stan, Cody, Mikey, Cameron and Ben were there when she did that and there were others in the corridor outside class. It happened before first bell.

mum - I see. You're always hanging around them and Amy would tell me if she knew you did anything like what Jessica claims.

me - What was that about Amy?.

mum - Nothing. I'll notify Principal Andrews what you told me and we'll let him deal with it.


She pauses for a moment.


mum - You better get going. Lunch will be finished up soon and I have to go grab your grandparents. I'm having your father picking you up today.

me - Yes mum.


I get up and leave the teachers lounge. Outside Stan and my other friends move away from the corridor wall and wait for me to lead the way to the school grounds. I could see them itching to ask questions, but thankfully held back. As we near the entrance to the playground, we see a year 12 guy talking to Amy.

We pause.


Year 12 guy - Will you go out with me and be my girlfriend?

Amy - I'm sorry. I'm not interested in a guy who's already dating 2 girls and sleeping with another.


She turns away from the guy before he could speak again and sees us looking at them.

She waves and hurries over to us.

She looks at me.


Amy - Why did your mum call you up?.


I nod towards to the playground and lift my lunch. She nods in return and once again we continue to our favourite spot under a tree on the edge of the playground. We open our lunches and as we start to eat, I answer the question, Amy had asked and I'm sure everyone was wanting to know as well.


me - Mum told that the "Princess" put a complaint in about me fondling her breasts and trying to put my hand down her skirt. Her mother is threatening legal action and is demanding I be suspended or expelled.

Mikey - NO FU*KING WAY!

Ben - You're bullsh*ting right?.

Stan - The Princess said what?.

Cameron - If you did that, then that must mean that we all did that to her as well.

Stan - How do you come up with that?.

Cameron - We were with Toby all day. What Toby did, we must've as well.

Cody - I sure as hell can't remember doing that to her. Can anyone else?.


They shake their heads, but I was more interested in Amy's reaction. She looked soo stunned, that I reach out and wave my hand in front of her. She looks at me and then her face transforms into something soo horrifying, I move back. The others look at her and like me move back.


Amy - I can't believe she's gone this far. I'm fu*king going to kill that B*TCH!!!. HOW dare she. How fu*king dare she. No wonder she didn't show up for class today. If she did, I'd ......


She moves her arms into fists and I was seriously glad that I wasn't Jessica. Seeing Amy look like that had me wanting to run away as fast as I could.


me - Calm down Amy. I've already told mum what actually happened and that I was with you, Cody and the others. She's taking it up with up the principal. It's out of our hands.

Amy - I'll call and demand she takes it back Toby. I'll make damn well sure she takes it back.

me - Just chill. I found it hilarious. Trying to picture me doing that to her was funny as hell.

Amy - But don't you see Toby?. It's not just what she's complained about, but when. It's your 15th birthday today and she's doing her utmost to ruin it. That's what makes it worse and that's why I'm soo damn pissed off with her.


All my friends nod in agreement to that, but before I respond, the bell starts ringing for the end of lunch and we all pack up and head back into class. The walk back to class was silent, but I sensed that all of my friends were angry.

During the rest of the lessons for the day, everyone else in our classes must have sensed it as well and for once the classroom was relatively quiet.


School for the dad ends and Amy and I walk out to the front of the school where parents were picking up their kids in their cars. Amy's father gets out of his car and calls me over.


Amy's dad - I'll be taking you home today Toby. Greg got held up with some paperwork.

me - Thanks.

Amy's dad - No probs. Greg, Mel, Anne and I go waaaay back.

Amy - Be carefull Toby. He'll start going on how he met mum and how long it took for them to get married.

Amy's dad - I'm not like that Amy.

Amy - Hell you're not dad.


All I could do is laugh and and hop in the back. Amy sits in the front and then Amy's dad gets into the car, start the engine and drive off to my place.

However, when we reach home, mum is standing by the driveway.

I get out of the car as she walks over to the driverside window.


mum - James. Amy. Mel's been in a car accident. She's injured, but I don't know how bad it is. I got the call a few minutes ago.


Amy and her father look stunned and I was feeling the same. There's no other feeling for it.


James - Anne. Can you keep Amy here for tonight?.

mum - You don't have to ask. She's welcome anytime.

James - Good.

Amy - I'm going too dad.

James - No. I need you here. I don't know how serious it is and I might have to make on the spot decisions.


He pauses for what seems to be a long time.


James - Don't argue with me Amy. Please!!!!


Amy looks like she wanted to argue, but in the end she nods and gets out of the car.


mum - She's on her way to RNS. If you need us, just call.


He nods and eases out of the driveway, before racing off towards the hospital. Mum looks at Amy and I.


mum - Toby. Take Amy's school bag to the spare room and I'll take Amy home to grab some clothes. She'll be attending your birthday party afterall.

Amy - Sorry Toby.


I shrug and give her a give her a quick hug, before entering the house and greet my grandparents. I could hear mums Feroza leave as I walk up the stairs and put Amy's bag in the spare room. I enter my room and close the door. I look around and then lay on my bed wondering what else is going to happen.

I just hope that there's nothing else.






End Chapter 2.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'm thinking of putting up the original written draft for each chapter. It might cost me time, scanning and uploading wise, but I want to show you the before and after versions.

It might be instructive for some people and a curiosity for others.

It's all written in pencil.


Chapter 3 will be up next week. I'll make it a weekly thing.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
The original written drafts.











That's the 2 chapters that I've typed up. You can notice the differences from what I wrote to what I typed up.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
The 3rd chapter is written up and I'll try to type it up tonight after work.

It was giving me more trouble than I thought and truth to tell I'm hoping that the typed version is better.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
The 3rd chapter is written up and I'll try to type it up tonight after work.

It was giving me more trouble than I thought and truth to tell I'm hoping that the typed version is better.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Vodafone to blame for the same posts.
_________________
Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.


Last edited by JESTER on Sun Jun 02, 2013 12:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
See above.
_________________
Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.


Last edited by JESTER on Sun Jun 02, 2013 12:06 am; edited 1 time in total
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Instead of using see above, I thought I'd get into what's been holding up chapter 3.

I thought chapter 3 would be short and sweet as I knew how I wanted to end the chapter early on. However, I kept on changing my mind on how to set it up.

In the end, the end of the chapter is how I want it to be for the most part. I ended up changing part of it at the last moment.

No doubt as I type it up, the chapter will change again. There are elements in it, that I should take out in order to stop it from being what I feel is realistic, but then again.

I hope people will understand what I mean after I've typed up the chapter and put up the scans of the original.

Chapter 4 will definitely be typed up next week. I wrote 1 1/2 pages in under 1/2 hr and the rest of the chapter should be as quick. Unlike chapter 3, I know what I will put in. The problem will be to stop the chapter from getting bigger, by my own enthusiasm of it.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
I'll it up tonight. I had my left hand sliced by broken glass at work last week and couldn't type with it. Hand is good enough to type as you can see.

Pain trying to type with one hand.


[edit = 7:25pm]
Ready in half hr.
[/edit]
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Here's the latest chapter.


ENJOY!


--- Gate Crasher Slaugherhouse ---

Story 1 - 14

Chapter 3




It's been an hr since I got home and about 40 minutes since mum came back with Amy. An hr where my party while still going ahead, had a sense of tension as we waited to hear from Amy's dad about her mother.

However, a few minutes ago, we received the call that her mothers injuries weren't as severe as we feared and that her mother will be home by the end of next week. Amy had burst into tears and I found myself hugging her, noticing that she felt and smelt nice. I also notice how hard she's hugging me in return and I find myself thinking "woah!, calm down, she's your friend".

It's now 4:30 and my birthday party starts in another half hr and the tension is being replaced with relief and excitement. Granddad, Dad and I have been setting up the tables, while mum, Amy and grandmother are in the kitchen preparing the food.

Amy's mobile phone rings and I try not to listen as Amy walks over to me.


Amy - Won't be able to stay at your place tonight.


pause


Amy - I'm here at Toby's for at least tonight.


pause


Amy - My mum had an accident and will be in the hospital for a while.


pause


Amy - It's Toby's 15th birthday and I've lost count how many times I've stayed over at his place. His parents even have a room set aside for me to use.


Amy pauses and then looks at me turning red in the face. She then turns around and starts speaking again.


Amy - So what if I am. It's none of your business. And talking about business. What's this crap that your mother told Mr's Jenkins today at school?.


pause


Amy - You damn well what I'm talking about. Answer me or I'll hang up.


pauses a long time


Amy - Well f*** you Jessica. You're nothing but a spitefull b*tch!.


With that she ends the call and turns to me. I notice that she's not red in the face anymore, but I can tell she's pretty peeved. Mum comes out.


Amy - She was trying to deny it at first, but then she told me she loves me and went into explicit detail about what she wants to do with me. She also told me to ditch you.

me - She's a lesbian?. Ditch me!. WTF!

Amy - She is. I'm not. I won't.


I try to puzzle that out, but Amy just gives me a "your an idiot" look.


Amy - MEN ARE SOOO STUPID!!!.


And with that, she walks back into the house with mum following her laughing.

I was still puzzling what she said when the front door buzzer sounded and I walk thru the house past my bemused mother and grandmother to the front door. I open it and Cody, Ben, Stan, Mikey and Cameron look at me and say in one voice.


friends - Yo!. Birthday Dude!.


We crack up laughing and I wave them in. Amy pokes her head out of the kitchen, waves then moves back out of sight. They look at me puzzled.


me - Amy's mum had a car accident this afternoon. She's staying here for at least tonight.

Ben - Bummer . First Jessica, now Amy.

me - Amy had no choice in being here. Jessica's just a snobbish princess who hates my guts.

Cody - Can't be helped.


He leans over to me and whispers.


Cody - Ben's not happy as he brought over a porno. His older brother lent it to him.


I nod in understanding.


me - With Amy here, I wouldn't dare watch it. Not after today with her at lunch.


I turn to Ben.


me - Can I borrow it?

Ben - Sure. But don't hold it for too long. I haven't seen this one yet.

Cameron - I'm after you.


Mum walks out of the kitchen and greets them, before telling us that it will be another 10 minutes or so before the food is ready. We walk up the stairs to my room, lock the door and I grab my battered iPad. Ben gives me the porno and I stash it out of sight. For the next 10 minutes or so, we attack each other in the martial arts game we're fond of.

15 minutes later mum calls up saying that everything is ready and we walk down the stairs to the door to the backyard where everyone else was waiting. I put my iPod in the stereo and start playing Mortis's - The Grudge and turn to face them.

I look at everyone here. Mum smiling, dad giving me a grin and wink, grandmother and granddad clapping, Amy giving me an inspecting look, while Stan and my other friends were doing mock genuflections and laughing while doing it.

I'm going to have to pay those guys back.

My grandparents walk over to me and grandmother gives me a big hug, while granddad gives my hand a shake.


Grandmother - Happy Birthday dear. You're growing like a weed.

Granddad - Yeh!. Happy birthday Tobias Richard Jenkins.

me - Granddad. You've never called me Tobias. You always called me kid.

Grandad - Well, you ain't one now are you?. I hate calling you Tobias, but it was your parents decision.


Granddad gives mum and dad a mocking grin and dad just shakes it in return while mum pokes out her tonge.


Dad - Damn you, you old geezer. You know why we named Toby, Tobias.

Grandad - Yeh!. You and your bloody taste in heavy metal.


Mum and dad look at each other, grinning like they've pulled a prank.


Mum - It was "When the Hero Cries", wasn't it dear?

Dad - Yep. I still play the album that song is on.

Granddad - At least, it's not that other crap you listen to, like Iron Maiden and Metallica.

Mum - Low blow!. Low blow.


Mum comes up to me and gives me my present, before hugging me, while dad just puts his hand on my shoulder and the other on mums. Mum puts my hand on her belly and they look at me.


Mum - I'm pregnant. I wanted to tell you earlier. Sorry Toby.


Truth to tell, I've always hated being an only child and I know that mum and dad have been trying for years. I look at them.


me - I think that's the best birthday present I've ever received.


I give mum a big hug, before my grandparents join in.


After things settle down, my friends all come up to me, turn their butts towards me and start patting them with their noses in the air. I bend over laughing until Amy walks up and slaps me in the back, in which I fall to the ground. I just lay there laughing for the next few minutes, until dad drags me to my feet. From there we went straight to the birthday cake and then onto mum's marinated roast lamb.

An hr into the party, I hear the door buzzer and dad waving his finger in a "no" gesture goes to answer. We pause the music and wait.

Dad calls out to me and I walk to the front door where dad is waiting.


Dad - This guy says that he was invited to your birthday. Do you know him?


I look at the guy who looks to be in his early 20's and shake my head.


me - Nope. Never seen him before.

Dad - Thought so.


Dad turns towards the guy.


Dad - You heard Toby. He doesn't know you.

Gatecrasher 1 - You're talking sh**. I was invited and no f***ing way am I going to leave.

Dad - F*** off before I call the cops.

Gatecrasher 1 - You're full of sh**. Now let me in.

Dad - Toby. Get Anne to call the cops pronto. We have trouble coming.


I look past dad and see beyond the guy that there was a lot more people heading towards our house. I race back to where mum and the others are waiting.


me - Mum. We've got trouble. Big trouble. Dad needs you to call the cops. There's a lot of people outside.


Mum quickly pulls out her mobile phone and I head back to dad with Amy, Stan and my other friends following me. They enter the loungeroom and look out the window and I can hear them going WTF. Out the front, music is starting to blare out and chants ring out about parties, sex and alcohol. There has to be at least a hundred of them outside, but I also notice that some are starting to jump the fence into out backyard.


me - Dad. Some are jumping the fence. I'm going to stop them.

Dad - Be carefull.


I'm feeling a mix of anger and fear. It's one thing to hear about it on tv or read about it in the newspaper, but to actually experience it, it's nothing I've ever felt before and I hate it. It's nothing like the fights and brawls I've either participated in or watch. It's more intense.

I race out to the backyard to where my grandparents are trying to fend off a group of half a dozen from getting into the house. I can see a couple of them eating my food.


me - GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE YOU F***ING BASTARDS!!


They turn towards me as I race up to the first person and shove the guy against the fence. Then all of a sudden I feel the most excruciating pain I've ever felt and I look down to see a knife hilt in my chest and blood. Lots of blood. I look up in shock in time to see a fist slam into my nose and I fall back feeling the knife come out.

I then feel even more pain as my head hits the pavement and then it's just pain. Nothing else. My vision starts to go dark as I hear screams and the sound of sirens and then ........







End Chapter 3
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When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I want people to read the following link. It's why this series was created in the first place.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/2013/06/15/17/50/teen-baskteball-star-shot-at-party

I'm really tired of reading this stuff in the news.
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Motorcycling - You don't need an excuse to ride, but you need an excuse not to ride.

When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 10:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Next week I'll type up the next chapter. There's only 2 chapters left. The last chapter is like an epilogue.
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When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I might, just might have the next chapter up next week, now that I'm actively back on the madboards. I stopped, partly due to gaming addiction and also due to no one commenting on this series.

Feels like I'm talking to myself, especially with over 5000 views and no posts.

Any comments on the series would be greatly appreciated.
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When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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JESTER
Ruri Hoshino


Joined: 08 Feb 2002
Posts: 11688
Location: Sydney Suzuki GSX1250FA Rider

PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Finally found the note book that I have this series in including the next chapter. I'll finish writing it up before I'll type it up.
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When travelling, set no limits. Just experience it, live the moment and enjoy the ride.
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